


To Know Me, To Love Me, To Hold Me

by annalikestotalk



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-16 15:38:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10574334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annalikestotalk/pseuds/annalikestotalk
Summary: “I love you!” Shouts Nursey, and there’s a sudden heavy silence from the rest of the team. Dex opens his mouth but Nursey’s started, and he’s not stopping until he says what he needs to. “I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”





	

“I love you!” Shouts Nursey, and there’s a sudden heavy silence from the rest of the team. Dex opens his mouth but Nursey’s started, and he’s not stopping until he says what he needs to. “I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“Oh my god.” Whispers Chowder from somewhere behind him. Nursey can feel the weight of everyone’s gazes on him and he hates it.

“Okay. Everyone out.” Announces Ransom, and him and Holster usher the rest of the team out of the kitchen. Before he leaves, Holster meets Nursey’s eyes and gives him a firm and solemn nod, and then a grin and a quick wink. Nursey appreciates the enthusiasm but it does nothing for the sick feeling that’s settled in his stomach.

“Derek…” Nursey has been studiously avoiding Dex’s eyes but the sound of his voice whispering his name drags him back to them, and there’s something there that he can’t name, but that makes his chest squeeze in a way that’s too painful. He shuts his eyes against the swell of emotion trying to claw its way out of his throat.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is almost as quiet as Dex’s. He feels like if he speaks too loudly something might shatter. He’s worried it might be him. “I know that’s… and you don’t… I’m just tired of pretending.”

“Derek.” Says Dex again, and it’s so quiet it’s barely more than a breath. Nursey doesn’t stop. If he doesn’t say it now he thinks he probably never will, and he doesn’t want to carry this any longer. He can’t.

He frowns, screws his eyes shut even tighter, and pushes on.

“I’m tired of pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. I’m tired of pretending that you’re not the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, that my heart doesn’t skip when I see you. I’m tired of pretending that you don’t mean everything to me. I’m tired of pretending that I don’t love you, Will, because I do. I love you so much.”

He finally opens his eyes and the look on Dex’s face is enough to take his breath away. His eyes are shining like he’s holding back tears and his cheeks are flushed. Nursey doesn’t have a name for the look on his face but he can’t bear to look at it anyway. He averts his eyes and lowers his head and waits for the inevitable outrage. And waits.

And waits.

A few moments pass, and when Dex stays silent he raises his head to look at him. Dex still has that look on his face but there’s a small frown to his eyebrows like he’s trying to think and coming up blank. The longer he’s taking the more panicked Nursey is becoming, and just when he thinks he can’t stand it anymore and opens his mouth to break the silence, Dex speaks.

“Derek-“

“Will-“

There’s a moment where they both pause and just look at each other, then Nursey nods for Dex to continue. He hesitates, and then carries on.

“I don’t… really know what to say. I don’t know what you’re expecting here, Nurse. I can’t… I can’t say it back.” Nursey nods.

“I know.” He says, because he does. He knows Dex doesn’t love him. That’s why it hurts.

“But Derek, I… I can’t say love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t… ugh. I don’t know how to say this.” He flops down into a chair, planting his elbows on the table and resting his face in his hands.

“It’s chill, man. I get it, you don’t feel the same. It’s fine.” It’s not, but Derek can’t say that.

“That’s not it! It’s – argh! Why is this so hard?” Dex scrubs a hand over his face and looks up to meet Nursey’s eyes. “I don’t love you, but I do like you. And I think – I think maybe I’d like to see if that could become… more.”

Dex is definitely blushing and he looks a little embarrassed, but there’s something in the determined way his gaze doesn’t falter that makes Nursey think he’s telling the truth.

Nursey, who by this point thinks his heart is about to burst out of his chest and his lungs are about to become audible with the way they’re screaming at him to breathe. He sucks in a deep breath, long and slow, desperately trying to calm himself, but Dex is still right there, _looking_ at him, and Nursey feels like he’s about to pass out.

“Derek? Derek. Nurse!” His attention finally snaps back to Dex, who has somehow managed to get from a seat on the other side of the kitchen over to stand right in front of him without Nursey seeing it. Dex’s hands are clutching his biceps and Nursey feels like they might be the only thing holding him up. His own hands come up to circle around Dex’s wrists.

“I’m – I’m okay. I just... That was a lot.” Dex still looks worried but he lets out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, you’re telling me.” They look at each other for a moment, and there’s a pause.

“What now?” Asks Nursey, and Dex shrugs.

“I don’t know. You’re the romantic. What’s _supposed_ to happen now?” Nursey smiles and moves his hands further up Dex’s arms.

“Well, usually it’s the big confession and then the first kiss.” Dex snorts.

“You almost fainted because I told you I liked you, Nurse. I don’t wanna have to drag you to the hospital because kissing me gave you a heart attack.”

“I did not almost faint!” Argues Nursey. Dex raises an eyebrow. “I was just overwhelmed by the grace and eloquence you displayed in your confession.”

“Alright, asshole. Not all of us can become Siken at a moment’s notice.” Nursey frowns.

“Since when do you know who Siken is?” Dex blushes again and lets go of one of Nursey’s arms to rub at the back of his neck.

“You quoted him the other day, at practice. I was curious.”

Nursey’s heart melts for the boy in front of him. What a wonderful, ridiculous, beautiful creature he is. How lucky Nursey is to have even just a chance with him.

“What?” Demands Dex, glaring. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I love you.” Dex’s mouth drops into an ‘o’ and his cheeks go fully red. Nursey frowns suddenly as a thought hits him. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s – it’s fine.” Replies Dex, and his blush is definitely not fading. “You can say it.”

“Good, because I do. I love you, Will.” Dex pushes his face into Nursey’s shoulder with a strangled laugh, and Nursey smiles.

“I love you.” He says, and drops a kiss into his hair. Dex raises his head.

“I love you.” He kisses his forehead.

“I love you.” His nose.

“I love you. I love you.” His cheeks.

Dex is laughing now, entire face gone red, but he’s not pulling away or demanding that Nursey stop, so he raises his hands to Dex’s cheeks and cradles his face.

“I love you.” He says, and Dex smiles and leans in, and Nursey can’t believe that it’s real but he knows that it is. The boy that he loves is here in his arms, smiling and kissing him.

And what a thing it is to kiss William Poindexter. His lips are dry and chapped and desperately in need of some chapstick, but they’re still soft and warm where they’re pressed against Nursey’s own. It’s a gentle movement, a tentative push, an unsure exploration of each other’s mouths. The kiss deepens as Dex leans into him and makes a noise and, oh, that sound does something to Nursey. His hands slide down Dex’s back and he makes it again, and Nursey is pushing, then, crowding him against the cupboards and leaning his weight against him-

“Ahem.” Someone clears their throat in the doorway and they both jump. Dex makes another noise, this one much higher pitched than the last, and Nursey makes a mental note to chirp him for it later.

Standing in the doorway with raised eyebrows is Holster, regarding both of them with a look that might have been intimidating if he weren’t clearly trying not to laugh.

“You guys weren’t yelling anymore, so I thought I’d come make sure you weren’t killing each other or anything. I suppose I shouldn’t have worried.”

“We’re – we’re fine.” Says Nursey, slightly out of breath. In his peripheral he can just about see Dex nodding along.

“Well, okay then. As your captain, I should probably tell you to make sure this doesn’t affect your playing.”

“It won’t, I swear.” Dex assures him, and it’s Nursey’s turn to nod. Holster smiles at them.

“Good. Then, as your friend, congratulations. Also, fucking _finally_.” Nursey and Dex share a confused glance. “You think we didn’t notice all the damn sexual tension between you guys? There’s been bets on when this would happen since halfway through your tadpole year. Chowder won, if you care to know.”

“Yeah I did!” Comes a faint voice from the living room, and they share another glance, this one a little more concerned.

“Hold on… Did you guys… Did you hear all of that?” Holster winces a little and Nursey regrets asking.

“Sorry. Thin walls.”

“Please don’t have sex in the kitchen!” Comes another voice.

“Bitty says don’t have sex in the kitchen.” Relays Holster, chuckling.

“I heard him!” Snaps Dex, and Nursey drops his head into his hands and gives up.

He starts laughing.

Holster and Dex are both looking at him like he’s lost it, but really, what else is there to do? This entire situation is ridiculous, and also probably the only way it ever could have gone. He and Dex have declared their love and their like for all the team to hear, and Nursey might be mortified, but he’s also so incredibly happy.

If you had asked him a week ago if he thought he had a chance with Dex, he would have told you absolutely, definitively no. And yet, here he is, with the man he loves smiling at him like he’s an idiot and the rest of his team waiting to chirp him to hell for actually being one. He feels like some big, important piece of his life has finally slotted into place.

Derek Nurse is in love with William Poindexter. And one day, he’ll get him to say it back.

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly written on a train on the way to Belgium. It's surprising how easy it is to lose a few hours to writing.
> 
> Also I realised while editing this that I'm really bad at writing build up. I tend to just jump into the scenes with a dramatic piece of dialogue and run from there. Why are they in the Haus kitchen? Why did Nursey suddenly start shouting about how much he loves Dex? Who knows? You decide!
> 
> Comments and constructive criticisms are welcomed and appreciated!
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr @annalikestotalk


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